Ravn's life: a work in progress

I made it to 30 days sober this past Thursday, only with the help of God and the people he has put into my life. It was a rough week, and I had a couple days I was feeling tempted to give in and just have a drink but I stayed strong and made it to the 30 day mark and beyond. My last post was a look back, I have realized the signs of God in my life. Before I was brought back to faith, my drinking had been going on for years, building over time. I would scream at my kids for no reason, my husband and I fought frequently - I would even get violent against him at times, I had days that I was so hungover I could hardly manage to even take care of my kids. One would think that any of those things would cause someone to want to quit.. not in my case, I didn't care. I just kept doing the same thing, no matter how bad I felt the next day. It was around the time that I confirmed/confessed my faith in front of the church that I now attend that slowly a feeling of guilt started to grow. On

I feel I should start this with some sort of disclaimer: I'm not condemning any certain way of living or religion that anyone has/had lived or believe(d) in, this is just my experience looking back on my life so far and where God has brought me. I grew up somewhat sheltered, living with my Dad and Grandparents. It was a (somewhat) 'normal' Italian/Irish Catholic family. I'd go to church with my grandparents when my dad was not home on Saturday nights, 2 out of every 3 weeks but wasn't a member of the church. I had been baptized as a baby (that's probably the only thing in my life that happened "when it was supposed to"), as my tells it, my mom had finally agreed to it because she wanted to be able to have a party. I have never 'met' her so that may or may not be true, it doesn't matter. As far as I know she wasn't Catholic, and my dad wasn't an active Catholic anymore. It wasn't until 7th or 8th grade, after a school unit on d

Yesterday marked two weeks sober for me. I've been reading a book my pastor recommended (http://online.nph.net/p-11953-helping-others-overcome-addictions.aspx), four chapters in and it really keeps me going. I haven't ever done any 12 step program or AA or anything like that but reading this book I'm glad I never did. The way they are described, it just sounds like trading one addiction for another with all the things you are supposed to do to fix the flesh and you have to carry the label of alcoholic/recovering alcoholic for life. This book (as far as I've gotten so far anyway) says that as long as we know and believe Christ died for us to free us and forgive us all our sins, that is all we need to know. The label we carry is 'Free' - our old, sinful selves died with Christ and we have new life because of His resurrection. It's very uplifting. I knew this but the weight of the drinking was really dragging me down and that's the point. I am still b