A small look into my broken, imperfect life. I am a Christian, widow, and mother of 2 beautiful girls.
Ember's Birthday party
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I had Ember's birthday party yesterday, not sure how I pulled off everything on 5 hours of sleep give or take but it was a good time. Good food, good people there, and the kids had a blast and a LOT of sugar.
I made it to 30 days sober this past Thursday, only with the help of God and the people he has put into my life. It was a rough week, and I had a couple days I was feeling tempted to give in and just have a drink but I stayed strong and made it to the 30 day mark and beyond. My last post was a look back, I have realized the signs of God in my life. Before I was brought back to faith, my drinking had been going on for years, building over time. I would scream at my kids for no reason, my husband and I fought frequently - I would even get violent against him at times, I had days that I was so hungover I could hardly manage to even take care of my kids. One would think that any of those things would cause someone to want to quit.. not in my case, I didn't care. I just kept doing the same thing, no matter how bad I felt the next day. It was around the time that I confirmed/confessed my faith in front of the church that I now attend that slowly a feeling of guilt started to grow. On...
Some of this is related to a past post here: http://ravnslife.blogspot.com/2015/10/always-growing-in-grace.html I have been frustrated with work until recently (that feeling still comes, but not as strong as it has been), trying to get out of the customer service department, applied for a job with another employer, all the while I kept praying for some direction on where I was supposed to be or at least contentment if I was were I was 'supposed' to be. I started putting a lot more focus on my home and family: keeping up with housework, trying to not lose my patience as much (yes, I still fail often on some of this), etc. I was half thinking of wanting to quit and just stay home.. I was at a loss on where my life was going. I think I'm finally finding contentment at home, most days anyway. A couple weeks ago, God gave me an answer on where I'm supposed to be in a fairly big way: everyone company-wide was getting a raise, but they went well above that for the custom...
We had youth confirmation this past Sunday. It made me think back to my confirmation (both of them). I know that baptism gives us the Holy Spirit and thus new life, or a new nature that desires to do good/follow God's law, but after Sunday and thinking of where I've been and what I've come through I feel that the new life is finally realized (if that's the right word). I don't know if it's just difference between the past teaching and now - there wasn't a lot of "here's the Bible and that's why we believe xyz" when I was growing up. My Catholic upbringing feels like a past life, I hardly remember any of it. It could be it was just that long ago, not sure - I remember bits and pieces of catechism classes, and of course First Communion and Confirmation but nothing of any real substance from what I was taught. Baptism starts us on the path of that new life in Jesus, but living it out (as best as we can because our sinful nature doesn't g...
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