dried up?

I feel my supposed 'introspective well' has dried up.. I don't know if that is because the negative voice that had lived in my head for so long was finally evicted. It tries to come back from time to time, but is quickly replaced by God's voice that has taken up residence.

The only other thing I could take about right now is the disaster that was my youngest daughter's baptism. Sure, the event itself (which was also my confirmation) was joyful and good; it was the time leading up to it that was the problem. There was a huge lack of communication between me and my husband about it all. He didn't like the church, he felt things were rushed. I felt attacked, lashed out.. So when he said "Do whatever you want" as I was heading to work one morning, I did. I picked the date, her godmother; all on my own.

I've never really come clean to him that I was sorry for how badly I handled the entire thing until this week. My oldest daughter has started attending church with me and I wanted to address the possibility of her being baptized, specifically that I do not want this to go the way it did last time..

So I apologized as a first step, and we will take this calmly, as opposed to last time.