Ravn's life: a work in progress

Some of this is related to a past post here: http://ravnslife.blogspot.com/2015/10/always-growing-in-grace.html I have been frustrated with work until recently (that feeling still comes, but not as strong as it has been), trying to get out of the customer service department, applied for a job with another employer, all the while I kept praying for some direction on where I was supposed to be or at least contentment if I was were I was 'supposed' to be. I started putting a lot more focus on my home and family: keeping up with housework, trying to not lose my patience as much (yes, I still fail often on some of this), etc. I was half thinking of wanting to quit and just stay home.. I was at a loss on where my life was going. I think I'm finally finding contentment at home, most days anyway. A couple weeks ago, God gave me an answer on where I'm supposed to be in a fairly big way: everyone company-wide was getting a raise, but they went well above that for the custom...

We had youth confirmation this past Sunday. It made me think back to my confirmation (both of them). I know that baptism gives us the Holy Spirit and thus new life, or a new nature that desires to do good/follow God's law, but after Sunday and thinking of where I've been and what I've come through I feel that the new life is finally realized (if that's the right word). I don't know if it's just difference between the past teaching and now - there wasn't a lot of "here's the Bible and that's why we believe xyz" when I was growing up. My Catholic upbringing feels like a past life, I hardly remember any of it. It could be it was just that long ago, not sure - I remember bits and pieces of catechism classes, and of course First Communion and Confirmation but nothing of any real substance from what I was taught. Baptism starts us on the path of that new life in Jesus, but living it out (as best as we can because our sinful nature doesn't g...

After an incident last week that had me really doubting my parenting - as if I needed any help in that (looking back, I probably did overreact but that's not really the point). I received words of encouragement from a friend and my pastor that helped me feel better, but not necessarily made me ready to forgive the person that made the comments. I kept going back to feeling bad about the situation, my parenting skills. As the week went on, my email was filled with devotions and Bible verses about forgiveness. Sometimes God's voice is a whisper, but this time it was a roar. God is good - all this went on, while 'behind the scenes' an apology card was on it's way to me. I was able to talk to the 'offender' today, I forgave her, we hugged and she almost starting to cry. It's such a relief to be able to let something like that go - hopefully, she can put it behind her as well. It doesn't do any good to hold to to a grudge or hurt, I've done enough...

The last few weeks, especially the last few days I have been feeling increasingly grumpy - mostly about work related things. I am finding that I seem to be surrounded by people that are just out to either take advantage of me or disregard anything I do completely. I'd say most of this is probably imagined but it's been proven to me in a couple of ways recently. Co-workers have noticed similar things, complain about being too busy but then when I offer to help I am ignored. I don't know why I've been reacting.. badly (to put it mildly) about all of this. My patience is wearing thin and I'm on the verge of just letting all my frustrations out. Is it pride or something else? Am I just feeling slighted because I'm not getting the recognition (or any recognition) for things I've done? That no one trusts me with any 'extra' work for some reason? I'm just feeling stuck in a hole with no way out. It's probable that most of this is just in my head -...

I made it to 30 days sober this past Thursday, only with the help of God and the people he has put into my life. It was a rough week, and I had a couple days I was feeling tempted to give in and just have a drink but I stayed strong and made it to the 30 day mark and beyond. My last post was a look back, I have realized the signs of God in my life. Before I was brought back to faith, my drinking had been going on for years, building over time. I would scream at my kids for no reason, my husband and I fought frequently - I would even get violent against him at times, I had days that I was so hungover I could hardly manage to even take care of my kids. One would think that any of those things would cause someone to want to quit.. not in my case, I didn't care. I just kept doing the same thing, no matter how bad I felt the next day. It was around the time that I confirmed/confessed my faith in front of the church that I now attend that slowly a feeling of guilt started to grow. On...

I feel I should start this with some sort of disclaimer: I'm not condemning any certain way of living or religion that anyone has/had lived or believe(d) in, this is just my experience looking back on my life so far and where God has brought me. I grew up somewhat sheltered, living with my Dad and Grandparents. It was a (somewhat) 'normal' Italian/Irish Catholic family. I'd go to church with my grandparents when my dad was not home on Saturday nights, 2 out of every 3 weeks but wasn't a member of the church. I had been baptized as a baby (that's probably the only thing in my life that happened "when it was supposed to"), as my tells it, my mom had finally agreed to it because she wanted to be able to have a party. I have never 'met' her so that may or may not be true, it doesn't matter. As far as I know she wasn't Catholic, and my dad wasn't an active Catholic anymore. It wasn't until 7th or 8th grade, after a school unit on d...

Yesterday marked two weeks sober for me. I've been reading a book my pastor recommended (http://online.nph.net/p-11953-helping-others-overcome-addictions.aspx), four chapters in and it really keeps me going. I haven't ever done any 12 step program or AA or anything like that but reading this book I'm glad I never did. The way they are described, it just sounds like trading one addiction for another with all the things you are supposed to do to fix the flesh and you have to carry the label of alcoholic/recovering alcoholic for life. This book (as far as I've gotten so far anyway) says that as long as we know and believe Christ died for us to free us and forgive us all our sins, that is all we need to know. The label we carry is 'Free' - our old, sinful selves died with Christ and we have new life because of His resurrection. It's very uplifting. I knew this but the weight of the drinking was really dragging me down and that's the point. I am still b...